24 Jun “Hot Girls Wanted”……
If you guys have been on Netflix recently then you might understand where this blog post is going, but if not, you’re probably wondering what the hell this is about. Last weekend I decided to stay in and check out a Netflix documentary in an attempt to try to turn my mind off (another blog post coming soon from my brain scan results from Dr. Amen on why I can’t turn my mind off). I ended up scrolling through the Most Popular section and finding this eye-catching title called “Hot Girls Wanted” so I decided to check it out.
This is an older documentary that was shot in 2015 and follows the lives of several 18-25-year-old pornographic actresses. Yes – you read that right…a documentary about porn or rather, the porn industry. At first, I was hesitant to watch since sex and porn is such a “taboo” topic but quickly I became more intrigued by my lack of understanding of that industry/business as a whole. For starters, it’s difficult to even fathom how big the porn industry is – according to some statistics, porn sites get more visitors each month than Netflix, Amazon and Twitter combined and generate 10’s of billions of dollars annually (https://finance.yahoo.com/news/porn-could-bigger-economic-influence-121524565.html).
The interesting part about all of this is I don’t watch actual porn. You read that right… Some of you might be reading this and your BS meter is going off…but it’s true. I really don’t, and I haven’t probably since high school. However, I do know a lot of people do including friends (both guys and girls) that do watch porn weekly, if not daily. Let’s clear this up – I don’t think people that watch porn are filthy animals or deranged. I think it’s perfectly normal (and healthy) to want sexual stimulation in some form or fashion and for some, unfortunately porn is the outlet for them to get that (though there are some potential issues from over exposure to porn – keep reading below). For me, there’s a multitude of reasons why I don’t watch it. For one, I always knew it was an “act” and almost felt laughable with how unrealistic and staged it was. I never appreciated how it “objectified” women and growing up very close to my mother, aunts, and female cousins, that was never something I supported. Second, I’ve had girlfriends/significant others for the majority of my adult life. Not to say that you can’t be in some sort of a relationship and still watch porn, but I just always preferred the real outlet. Third, I’m so focused on business and the 5 million things I’m working on at any given moment that on my list of priorities, sexual stimulation is probably lower than most millennials. You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve been laughed at by my friends and girls for how often I’ve turned down a “come over ;)” text to stay in and work. Long story short, I don’t watch porn and prefer real life sexual encounters with human beings who actually reciprocate the same feelings. Now that we’ve cleared that up, back to the documentary.
This documentary opened my eyes to the business side of the porn industry – a side that isn’t so nice. A lot of these girls leave high school or graduate with no other plans and find the porn industry as a quick and easy way to get access to money. They are usually recruited and cooped up in a small house with several other women who all are there to work. Now, I won’t share with you some of the graphic things they discuss in the documentary, but it’s obvious that these women do some things that they aren’t excited about and even though its “sex” or sexual related things, it’s not like they enjoy every minute of it.
The reason I wanted to write a blog post about this is because I think it’s an interesting topic that some people are afraid to talk about. The goal of this blog is to get people to open their minds and think differently about things – to shift perspective. One of the questions I continue to wonder about is – how is this legal? How is it legal to pay a girl a couple hundred dollars to have sex on camera and then distribute it out to millions of viewers meanwhile it’s not legal to have sex with a girl directly and pay for it (i.e. prostitution) (not advocating for either, rather just posing the question). Under Miller v. California, as long as a work, taken as a whole, has “serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value,” the First Amendment protects its distribution. Basically meaning that since they are paid to “act” vs paid for sex, it differs….I have no idea but this article explains it a bit more (http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/08/12/colb.pornography/index.html).
Regardless, I think it’s an interesting documentary that opened my eyes a bit to the business side of the industry. Now I’m sure not all situations are like the one portrayed in the documentary, but it’s interesting nonetheless to see their prospective. I pray that these women find better outlets rather than being forced to do things they don’t particularly enjoy (unless they do actually enjoy it then by all means..) Regardless, sexual health is EXTREMELY important and something that people are afraid to talk about without people thinking they are weird or perverted. Fortunately for y’all I don’t care what people think because I’d rather talk about a topic and help open just one person’s mind to a different way of thinking than not bring it up and prevent that person from ever being impacted. With that being said, make sure you all are staying SAFE and make do your best to make meaningful relationships in real life.
P.S. After I saw this documentary, people kept asking me if I had watched the Ted Bundy tapes. After much convincing, I finally watched them. What’s interesting is that in his last interview ever before being put to death, Ted Bundy said that he was addicted to hardcore pornography and that most serial killers he came across in jail were as well. Bundy was interviewed by Dr. James Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family. “Like most other kinds of addiction,” he said, “I would keep looking for more potent, more explicit, more graphic kinds of material. Like an addiction, you keep craving something which is harder, harder, something which gives you a greater sense of excitement. Until you reach the point that pornography only goes so far…” (https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/flashback-ted-bundy-says-porn-fueled-him-in-bizarre-last-interview-129458/). I’m not saying that watching porn caused Ted Bundy to do the heinous crimes that he did, but it’s interesting nonetheless. Like I said early, as long as everyone makes a strong effort to make meaningful, real life relationships, we’ll all be better off!
Lastly, two of my friends have spoken out about this recently. Drew Manning talked about his porn addiction and eventual infidelity (http://fit2fat2fit.libsyn.com/ep100-life-after-porn-affairs-and-lies) and Danny Vega and his wife Maura are starting a podcast called “Real Men” talking about topics like this and many more items that men are often afraid to speak up about. Danny recently put a post up talking about porn that got a lot of attention (https://www.instagram.com/p/BzAqfFlnqrP/). I appreciate and support both of them and appreciate them brining up topics like this and bringing light to it.